Bumper Stickers

Funny how bumper stickers can give such meaningful life lessons:

1. Jesus is coming, everyone look busy
2. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory
3. Horn broken, watch for finger
4. Honk If You Haven't Slept With Bill Clinton
5. All men are idiots & I married their king
6. The more you complain, the longer God lets you live
7. If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished
8. Telepath wanted : you know where to apply
9. I R S : We've got what it takes to take what you've got
10. I'm just driving this way to piss you off
11. Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs
12. I love cats ... they taste just like chicken
13. Out of my mind - Back in five minutes
14. Keep honking, I'm reloading
15. Hang up and drive
16. Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot
17. I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car
18. Lord save me from your followers
19. Guns don't kill people, postal workers do
20. Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit
21. I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen
22. The gene pool could use a little chlorine
23. Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!
24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine
25. It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you
26. If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
27. Forget about World Peace ... Visualize on Using Your Turn Signal!
28. Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot
29. He  who laughs last, thinks slowest
30. Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math
31. Friends help you move, Real friends help you move bodies
32. Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy
33. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps
34. Be nice to your kids, They'll be choosing your nursing home
35. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again.