Drummer Jokes

What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
A drummer.

How can you tell a drummer is walking behind you?
You can hear his knuckles dragging on the ground.

What is the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?
A drum machine can keep a steady beat and won't steal your girlfriend!

How many drummers does it take to wallpaper a room?
Three, if you slice them thin enough!

What's the difference between a drummer and Dr. Scholl's foot pads?
Dr. Scholl's foot pads buck up the feet.

Q: What does Ginger Baker and black coffee have in common?
A: They both suck without Cream.

Q: What do you call a drummer who's lost his girlfriend?
A: Homeless.

Q: How do you call a drummer?
A: You can't.  They don't pay their phone bill.

Why do drummers have lots of kids?
They're terrible at the rhythm method.

How can you get a drummer off your porch?
Pay for the pizza!

Q: How can you make a drummer slow down?
A: Put a sheet of music in front of him.
Q: How can you make that drummer stop?
A: Put notes on it!

Q. What is the difference between a drum line playing together and shoes in a dryer?
A. Nothing

What is the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to plug one of them in before it sucks.

Why are bad drummers better than drum machines?
You don't have to plug 'em in to get something stiff, mechanical and uninspired.

Why are orchestra intermissions limited to 20 minutes?
So they don't have to retrain the drummers.

How do you know if a drummer's platform is level?
The drool comes out of both sides of his mouth.

What is the difference between a drummer and a savings bond?
One will mature and make money.

How do trumpet players park in the handicap spots?
They put drumsticks on the dash.

How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
Five.  One to change it, and the other four to stand around and talk about how much better Neil Peart would have done it!

Did you hear about the drummer who got into college?
No
Neither did I.

 

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