Things I've Learnt

I've learned - that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned - that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

I've learned - that it takes years to build up trust, and only suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned - that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big dick or huge tits.

I've learned - that you can keep puking long after you think you're finished.

I've learned - that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned- that either you control your attitude or you will be offered medication.

I've learned - that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.

I've learned - that money is a great substitute for character.

I've learned - that no matter how good a chick is, she'll only contribute to your alcoholism.

I've learned - that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't have secret plans to move out.

I've learned - that we don't have to ditch bad friends because their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves.