In The Movies...

1. Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people -- whether they are employed or not.

2. One identical twin is always born evil.

3. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.

4. Laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien civilization.

5. No matter how many opponents you face in a martial arts fight, your enemies will wait patiently to attack you, dancing around in a threatening manner until you knock out their predecessors.

6. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

7. If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission and astrophysics at the age of 22.

8. Honest and hard working policemen are always gunned down three days before their retirement.

9. Megalomaniacs don't like bullets.  They prefer to kill using complicated fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man- eating sharks, which thoughtfully allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

10. During all police investigations, it is  necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

11. All beds have special L-shaped topsheets that reach the armpit of a woman but only to the waist on the man lying beside her.

12. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

13. Anyone can land an airplane; just let the control tower talk you down.

14. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off -- even while scuba diving.

15. You're very likely to survive any battle in war -- unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

16. It is not actually necessary to speak the language -- you can pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer merely by faking an accent.

17. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from every window in Paris. The Capitol Building can be seen from every window in Washington.

18. A man will show no pain under the cruelest beating, but will wince when a woman cleans his wounds.

19. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will collide with it before long.

20.  Parking places are abundantly available in front of every building in every major city if you are in a hurry.

21. Word processors never display a cursor but always say: "Enter Password".  If you're a good guy, you can guess any password.

22. Even if the road is perfectly straight, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

23. All bombs have large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

24. A detective cannot solve a case until he has been suspended from duty.

25. If you decide to start dancing and singing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps and words.

26. Police departments employ personality tests to make sure that officers are assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

27. When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English.

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