Murphy's (And Others) Laws

Ralph's Observation:
It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry.

Farnsdick's corollary:
After things have gone from bad to worse, the cycle will repeat itself.

Firestone's Law of Forcasting:
Chicken Little only has to be right once.

Manly's Maxim:
Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

Cannon's Comment:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

Murpny's Law:
If anything can go wrong, it will.

Murphy's Corollary:
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

Murphy's Corollary:
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

Murphy's Constant:
Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.

Quantized Revision of Murphy's Law:
Everything goes wrong all at once.

O'Toole's Commentary:
Murphy was an optimist.

Scott's Second Law:
When an error has been detected and corrected, it will be found to have been correct in the first place.

Finagle's First Law:
If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.

Finagle's Third Law:
In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct, beyond all need of checking, is the mistake.

Finagle's Fourth Law:
Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes it worse.

Gumperson's Law:
The probability of anything happening is in inverse ratio to its desirability.

Rudin's Law:
In crises that force people to choose among alternative courses of action, most people will choose the worst one possible.

Ginsberg's Restatement of the Three Laws of Thermodynamics:
You can't win. You can't break even. You can't quit.

Ehrman's Commentary:
Things will get worse before they will get better. Who said things would get better?

Howe's Law:
Everyone has a scheme that will not work.

Zymurgy's First Law of Evolving Systems Dynamics:
Once you open a can of worms, the only way to recan them is to use a bigger can.

Non-Reciprocal Law of Expectations:
Negative expectations yield negative results. Positive expectations yield negative results.

Klipstein's Law:
You never find a lost article until you replace it.

Glatum's Law of Materialistic Acquisitiveness:
The perceived usefulness of an article is inversely proportional to its actual usefulness once bought and paid for.

Lewis' Law:
No matter how long or hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.

The Airplane Law:
When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time.

Etorre's Observation:
The other line always moves faster.

Etorre's Ovservation:
The chance of the bread falling with the butter side down is directly proportional to the value of the carpet.

Hawkin's Theory of Progress:
Progress does not consist of replacing a theory that is wrong with one that is right. It consists of replacing a theory that is wrong with one that is more subtly wrong.

Gold's Law:
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Law of Reruns:
If you have watched a TV series only once, and you watch it again, it will be a rerun of the same episode.

Gerrold's Laws of Infernal Dynamics:
1. An object in motion will be heading in the wrong direction.

Gerrold's Laws of Infernal Dynamics:
2. An object at rest will be in the wrong place.

Langin's Law:
If things were left to chance, they'd be better.

Klipstein's Observation:
If you need n items of anything, you will have n - 1 in stock

 

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