Pickup Lines
(And Some Witty Comebacks)

I know how to please a woman.
Then please leave me alone.

I want to give myself to you.
Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

May I see you pretty soon?
Don't you think I'm pretty now?

Your hair color is fabulous.
Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store.

You look like a dream.
Go back to sleep.

I can tell that you want me.
Yes, I want you to leave.

Hey, baby, what's your sign?
Do not enter. or Stop.

I'd go through anything for you.
Let's start with your bank account.

May I have the last dance?
You've just had it.

I would go to the end of the world for you.
Yes, but would you stay there?

Your place or mine?
Both. You go to your place, and I'll go to mine.

Your body is like a temple.
Sorry, there are no services today.

Is this seat empty?
Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?
What's it like being the biggest liar in the world?

Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
If I could see you naked, I'd die laughing.

Great Pick-Up lines to use on Blondes
1) That dress would look awfully nice on the floor next to my bed.
2) Do you want to see something swell?
3) What do you like for breakfast?
4) Do you want to fuck or should I apologize?
5) Say, didn't we go to different schools together?
6) Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap, and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up.
7) Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us.
8) Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
9) Would you like Gin and platonic, or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?
10) You smell wet. Lets party!
11) If I told you that you have a nice body, would you hold it against me?
12) Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me? I thought you knew!
13) You have the ass of a great artist.

Worst Pick-Up lines to use, even on a Blonde
1) I just threw up!
2) You look just like a hooker I know in Detroit.
3) Miss, if you've lost your virginity, can I have the package it came in?
4) Hey baby! You look like you could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.
5) I've had quite a bit to drink, and your beginning to look pretty good.
6) Hello Susie! Your mom couldn't make it this afternoon so she asked me to pick you up. My what a pretty dress!
7) Your face or mine?
8) Nice dress, could I talk you out of it?
9) I want to floss with your pubic hair.
10) I'd look good on you.
11) Excuse me. Have I fucked you yet?
12) Somebody farted! Lets get out of here.

Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?

I ain't no Fred Flintstone but I can make your bedrock.

Those are a nice set of legs....what time do they open?


You know, you have wonderful eyes?
And notice they're not looking at you.

Can you give me a quarter? My mom told me to call home if I fell in love.
Here's 55 cents, take the bus home to tell your mom in person.

Nice shoes. They'd look good under my bed.
They'd look even better walking away from you.

You must wash your pants in windex because I can see myself in them.
You must wash your face in windex because I can see my foot in it.

You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day.
No, I'm just tired of running away from you.

I have been dreaming of you for years.
Go back to sleep.

Someone call heaven because there's an angel on the loose.
And going back soon if you don't shut up.