You Know You're A Redneck If...

You have a bug light inside your house.

You belong to a Beer of the Month club.

You wear cowboy boots with Bermuda shorts.

You've ever burped and killed a fly.

You honk your horn during love scenes at the drive-in.

Your wife has a Jello mold that looks like Elvis.

You have a hook in your shower to hang your hat on.

You have to wash your hands before you go to the bathroom.

You clean your hands daily with gasoline.

The only private club that you belong to is Sam's Wholesale Club.

You've ever put a six-pack in a casket right before they closed it.

You drive 600 miles to see an image of Elvis that has miraculously appeared in water stains on the ceiling of a trailer home.