Redneck Jokes

Do you know what a redneck's last words are?
Hey, fellas, watch this!

How many rednecks does it take to eat a possum?
Three.  One to eat it and two to watch for cars.

How do you break a redneck's finger?
Hit him in the nose.

What are the three most difficult years for a redneck?
Second grade.

Why does it take a redneck five days to wash his basement windows?
He needs four-and-a-half days to dig the holes for the ladder.

Why does it take seven people to give a redneck a shower?
Three to hold him down, and four to spit on him.

What's the most popular redneck pick-up line?
Nice tooth.

How can you tell a redneck firing squad?
They stand in a circle.

How do you make a redneck girl's eyes sparkle?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.

 

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