The latest terminology used by the modern day worker...

Blamestorming:
Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

Body Nazis:
Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively.

Seagull Manager:
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything and then leaves.

Chainsaw Consultant:
An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the top brass with clean hands.

Cube Farm:
An office filled with cubicles.

Prairie Dogging:
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a "cube farm" and everyone's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

Idea Hamsters:
People who always seem to have their idea generators running.

Mouse Potato:
The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

SITCOMs:
What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.

Squirt the Bird:
To transmit a signal to a satellite.

Starter Marriage:
A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.

Stress Puppy:
A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

Swiped Out:
An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

Tourists:
People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs.  "We had three serious students in the class;
the rest were just tourists."

Treeware:
Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.

Xerox Subsidy:
Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

Assmosis:
The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

Chips and Salsa:
Chips = hardware, salsa = software. "Well, first we gotta figure out if the problem's in your chips or your salsa."

Irritainment:
Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example.

Percussive Maintenance:
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

Uninstalled:
Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voicemail of a vice president at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of an uninstalled vice president. Please dial our main number and ask the operator for assistance."

CLM (Career Limiting Move):
Used among microserfs to describe ill-advised activity.  Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.  (Also known as CEB - Career Ending Behavior)

OHNOSECOND:
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (See CLM)

Adminisphere:
The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file.  Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

Dilberted:
To be exploited and oppressed by your boss.  Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the engineer in the job-from-hell comic strip character.  "I've been dilberted again.  The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week."

Salmon Week:
The experience of spending an entire week swimming upstream only to die, and someone else get the benefit.

404:
Someone who's clueless.  From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located. "Don't bother asking him...  he's 404, man."

Percussive Maintenance:
The fine art of whacking an electronic device *just right* to get it to work again.

 

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