Click on the Episode Number to see the script for that Episode.
Episode 101 - Cartman Gets An Anal Probe
Eric Cartman tells the boys he had a dream where he was abducted by aliens, when he is told that it was no dream, he refuses to admit that the experience ever happened - despite the large number of strange things that begin coming out of his arse. On the way to school, Kyle Broslofski is distressed to find that his little brother Ike has also been abducted and the boys (with the help of Wendy Testaburger) set out to rescue Kyles brother. The boys are successful (except for Kenny McCormick, who is zapped by aliens, trampled by a herd of cows and run over by Officer Barbrady in his police squad car). The boys also find out that the aliens can communicate with cows.
Episode 102 - Weight Gain 4000
Eric Cartman wins the school essay contest and is overjoyed to learn that Kathie Lee Gifford will present his award to him on TV. To prepare for the moment, he starts taking Weight Gain 4000 so as to look good and buff, but instead he just ends up getting hideously fat. Wendy Testaburger is furious with Eric Cartmans success and tries to read his essay to see why he won. While reading the winning essay, she learns Mr. Garrisons secret, he intends to kill Kathie Lee Gifford. She gets Stan Marsh to help her stop him.
Episode 103 - The Volcano Episode
Jimbo Kerny and Ned decide to take the kids on a hunting trip, but they are soon trapped by lava when the towns local volcano erupts. They are helped by the local urban legend Scuzzlebutt who is then shot by Stan Marsh to make his Uncle Jimbo Kerny happy. The town manages to dig a trench and the lava avoids South Park, flowing straight into Denver, saving the town from immolation.
Episode 104 - Big Gay Als Big Gay Boat Ride
Stan Marsh becomes worried when his dog Sparky decides to explore his sexuality. Sparky finds the oppression too much and runs away to Big Gay Als Big Gay Animal Sanctuary. Stan Marsh goes looking for Sparky and ends up learning the importance of tolerating other peoples individuality from Big Gay Al, before returning to save the South Park cows football team from being beaten too badly. Special guest voice George Clooney, as Sparky the dog.
Episode 105 - An Elephant Makes Love To A Pig
Kyle Broslofski gets an elephant as a pet but is disappointed that its too big to fit on the school bus and dreams of making a smaller elephant. The boys decide to try and combine the genes of Kyle Broslofskis elephant and Eric Cartmans pot-bellied pig as their science fair project. They discover that an elephant and a pigs genes wont splice, so they decide to get the two to have sex. A few kegs of beer and a love song from Chef and Elton John and the animals live up to their expectations, producing a baby that looks oddly familiar, in fact, it looks just like Mr. Garrison.
Episode 106 - Death
Stan Marsh doesnt know what to do when his Grand father continually asks him to help kill him. After asking around for advice and finding it useless, his Grand father finally convinces him to help by playing him an Enya cassette. All this takes place while the parents of South Park are in New York protesting against the Terrance and Phillip show. The boys summon the Grim Reaper who pursues them mercilessly on a tricycle before killing Kenny McCormick and leaving Stan Marshs Grand father alone. Terrance and Phillip is eventually taken off the air.
Episode 107 - Pink Eye
Kenny McCormick is killed when Mir Space Station falls on top of him. While being prepared for his funeral, the morgue attendants drop a bottle of Worcestershire sauce in the embalming fluid, causing Kenny McCormick to walk the earth as one of the living dead. Kenny McCormick quickly turns the towns inhabitants into zombies, except for the kids, who learn that they must kill the head zombie to return peace to their quiet town. Kenny is quickly dispatched with a chainsaw.
Episode 108 - Damien
Excitement regarding Eric Cartmans birthday party is dampened when the new kid at school turns out to be Damien, the son of Satan. Damien summons his father, who challenges Jesus to the final battle between good and evil. Jesus is understandably hurt to learn that only one person in town has bet on him to win. The match between Satan and Jesus is to be held on the same day as Eric Cartmans birthday and the boys are torn over which one to attend.
Episode 109 - Starvin Marvin
The boys decide to sponsor an Ethiopian child in order to get the free watch that comes in the deal, but are sent the actual child by mistake. They name him Starvin Marvin and decide to teach him about American life. Government agents come to take Marvin back to his homeland, but accidentally ship Eric Cartman back to Africa. Meanwhile, Mad Scientist Mephesto tries to warn the town of an impending turkey riot, but is only listened to by Chef, who eventually leads the South Park people into confrontation between man and turkey.
Episode 110 - Mr. Hankey
The boys are a little bothered to learn that Kyle Broslofski is Jewish, but are even more hassled by the fact that he believes in a talking poo called Mr. Hankey. Legend apparently has it that if you have a diet of high fibre you will receive presents at Christmas time. This fact sends the town into turmoil and Mayor McDaniels quickly orders the alteration of all the decorations to suit all religions and races. Also, this is the first episode that Kenny McCormick actually survives.
Episode 111 - Toms Rhinoplasty
Mr. Garrison takes time off school to have a nose job that he has always wanted and is replaced with Ms Ellen a sexy substitute that the boys quickly fall in love with. When Chef tells them that she is actually a lesbian, they decide that they will become lesbians too, to impress her. Special guest voice Natasha Menstridge The Chick From Species, as Ms Ellen.
Episode 112 - Mecha Streisand
The boys discover a forgotten relic that attracts the unwanted interest of Barbara Streisand. Through the help of Leonard Maltin, the boys learn that if Barbara Streisand gets the artifact she will be able to become Mecha Streisand! The boys join forces with Leonard Maltin, Sidney Poitier and Robert Smith and help orchestrate a Manga-style giant robot fight to destroy the evil creature. Special guest voice Robert Smith, as Robert Smith.
Episode 113 - Cartmans Mom Is A Dirty Slut
Eric Cartman becomes depressed and confides in his friends that he would like to know who his father is. The problem is that his mother slept with so many people at the Drunken Barn Dance that no one is quite sure who is responsible Chef? Mr. Garrison? Or even the 1989 Denver Broncos? Eric Cartman and the boys get the Mad Scientist Mephesto to find out by using his laboratory to test the genotypes of all the suspects. Special guest voice Jay Leno, as Kitty.
Episode 201 - Not Without My Anus
As an April fools joke, we dont get to see a South Park episode, but instead we get a half-hour Terrance and Phillip telemovie. Terrance heads to Iraq to retrieve his long lost daughter Sally and returns to find that Saddam Hussein has begun a takeover of Canada. He and Phillip join together with Sallys mother Celine Dion to stop the dictator.
Episode 202 - Cartmans Mom Is Still A Dirty Slut
Just before Mephesto can reveal the identity of Eric Cartmans father, he is shot and the boys must rush him to the hospital with the help of Chef. However, a blizzard disrupts power at the understaffed hospital and things begin to look grim. Meanwhile, the townsfolk resort to cannibalism to survive the storm and Mrs. Cartman campaigns to have abortion laws changed so she can abort Eric Cartman and save him the embarrassment of this ordeal.
Episode 203 - Chicken Lover
When a chicken serial rapist strikes town, it is revealed that Officer Barbrady is illiterate. He is sent back to school and South Park residents run riot without a law enforcement officer. Eric Cartman is deputised and restores order to the small town while Kyle Broslofski and Stan Marsh help Officer Barbrady learn to read and capture the fowl offender. Kenny dies during the credits of this episode.
Episode 204 - Ikes Wee-Wee
Kyle Broslofski is horrified to learn that his parents intend to perform a bris on his little brother Ike. The boys begin to get protective over their penises. Kyle sends Ike off to Nebraska and inadvertently fakes his brothers death. School Counselor Mr. Mackay is fired from his job and begins to experiment with drugs before undergoing rehab.
Episode 205 - Conjoined Foetus Lady
Chef becomes over-zealous when he realises the South Park dodgeball team have a chance to become world champions. While the team is away in China for the championships, the town holds a Conjoined Foetus Myslexia Week to help welcome the school nurse with a dead foetus stuck on the side of her head into their community.
Episode 206 - The Mexican Staring Frog Of Southern Sri Lanka
The boys have to do a presentation on Vietnam vets and interview Jimbo Kerny and Ned for the assignment. The story they are told appears a little unlikely and the kids fail their assignment. They decide to get Ned and Jimbo back by faking an appearance of the mythical Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka in South Park.
Episode 207 - City On The Edge Of Forever (Originally titled Flashbacks)
An accident causes the kids to get trapped in the school bus while a big, black monster rages outside. The parents go into a panic, deciding that the kids have run away. While the bus driver, Ms Crabtree goes on to become a national comedy sensation while looking for help, the kids pass the time by having flashbacks of earlier episodes, only this time they are slightly twisted. In the end the episode turns out to become a dream, so therefore Kenny McCormick lives! Special guest voice Henry Winkler, as the Fonz.
Episode 208 - Summer Sucks
Summer hits South Park and the kids find themselves missing the snow. Mr. Hat, Mr. Garrisons puppet goes missing, throwing Mr. Garrisons life into disarray. Colorado bans fireworks, making the fourth of July festivities look like a real bummer. Mayor McDaniels comes up with an ingenious, although deadly plan to put South Park on the map and Mr. Garrison starts seeing a counselor. Mr. Garrisons counselor is actually a guest star Dr. Katz, from Dr. Katz: Professional Therapist.
Episode 209 - Chefs Salty Chocolate Balls
The Sundance Film Festival comes to South Park and the boys are disappointed to find out the films are independent films. Chef tries to cash in on the tourists coming into South Park by selling chocolates called Fudge ems and Fudge this and Mr. Hankey returns to save the town from becoming run down with tourists. Mr. Hankey gets sick but is revived when chef invents Salty Chocolate Balls and saves his life.
Episode 210 - Chicken Pox
After Stan Marshs sister Shelley gets sick with the chicken pox, the boys mothers decide that the boys should get them while their young. The boys have a sleepover at Kenny McCormicks house to get sick, although Kyle doesnt. When the boys find out that their parents did it to them on purpose, they decide to get their parents back by hiring a prostitute with herpes to their house to use their parents belongings. Also, Sheila Broslofski, Kyles mom, tries to get Gerald Broslofski (Kyles dad) and Stuart McCormick (Kennys Dad) back together as friends, with devastating results.
Episode 211 - Roger Ebert Should Lay Off The Fatty Foods
When Mr. Garrison takes his school class to the new South Park planetarium, Stan, Kyle and Kenny find out that the owner of the planetarium is really a madman with a devious plot to trick the children into volunteer slavery. Eric Cartman appears once again on television after he wins the role of a cheesy poof in the new cheesy poofs TV commercial.
Episode 212 - Clubhouses
When Wendy decides that Stan and Kyle should build a clubhouse so that she and Bebe can come over and play truth or dare, Stan gets excited and they start to build one, Cartman and Kenny find out and decide to build their own clubhouse to play truth or dare in. Kenny finds a couple of runaways and invites them to stay in the clubhouse. The runaways call all their friends and throw a party in Cartman's clubhouse. Bebe falls in love with Kyle and she tries to kiss him, only to scare him away.
Episode 213 - Cow Days
The rodeo pulls into town and the boys compete in the bull riding event. Cartman is knocked out & wakes up believing that he is a Vietnamese Prostitute going by the name of Ming Lee. Well, this is a very sad episode, as every cow in South Park & neighbouring county's join a massive cult, started by South Parks new Cow Memorial Clock & they commit mass Cow Suicide.
Episode 214 - Chef Aid
When Chef suffers from financial trouble, the boys discover that he is behind some of the biggest moments in musical history. To help out, the boys organise the huge Chef Aid benefit concert. Guest Stars many top name singers as themselves, like Elton John.
Episode 215 - Spooky Fish
When Stan's Aunt comes to town bearing a gift for Stan of a murderous fish, the boys realise something is wrong & then when a mysterios bearded Eric Cartman turns up, the boys trace the clues to an evil parrellel universe
Episode 216 - Merry Christmas Charlie Manson
The boys visit Cartman's Grandma for christmas & his Uncle Howard breaks out of prison to join them & he brings a friend, Charles Manson. Yes, the heartless murderer appears in this episode as a reformed christian who likes children. Stan runs away from his family to join the others without permission.
Episode 217 - Gnomes
The boys are put in a group at school with a weird kid named Tweek, who thinks Gnomes come during the night & steal his underpants. When Tweek's father uses the boys to try and save his family coffee shop business, from being taken over by Harbucks, things get out of control. Then the boys get in a fight with...... The Underpants Gnomes??
Episode 218 - Prehistoric Ice Man
While attempting to rescue Kyle from the bottom of a snowy cavern, the
boys discover a man imbedded in a block of ice. The world watches while Mephesto studies
the "Ice Man" as a possible missing link that could bridge the gap between
prehistoric man and the modern era. The escalating events are cause for friction between
Stan and his best friend, Kyle.
All artwork and words (unless otherwise stated) belong to Warren Sergent and the Spakatak network.
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